Bullying Prevention Month: Rewiring Harm, Reclaiming Safety

Written By Ambur Gregorio

By Jen Bennethum

October is Bullying Prevention Month—a time to move beyond awareness and into action. While bullying is often minimized as a childhood rite of passage, its impact is anything but trivial. Neuroscience reveals that bullying can alter the architecture of a child’s brain, disrupt emotional regulation, and leave lasting scars on identity and self-worth. This month, we honor the stories of those affected and commit to building communities where every child and teen feels safe, seen, and supported.

Bullying is not just a moment—it’s a pattern. And when left unaddressed, it becomes a system of harm that rewrites how children see themselves and others. Whether it happens in hallways, group chats, or locker rooms, bullying thrives in silence. Prevention begins with naming it, interrupting it, and healing from it.

“No one heals himself by wounding another.” – Ambrose

Types of Bullying

Bullying comes in many forms, and understanding its different types is essential for recognizing harm and responding effectively. While some forms are overt and physical, others are subtle and psychological—but all can leave lasting emotional and neurological impacts. Here’s a breakdown of the most widely recognized types:

Physical Bullying

This involves direct bodily harm or threats of violence. It includes hitting, kicking, tripping, pushing, spitting, or damaging someone’s belongings. Physical bullying is often the most visible and easiest to identify, but it’s not necessarily the most common.

Verbal Bullying

Verbal bullying uses words to inflict pain. It includes name-calling, teasing, threats, inappropriate sexual comments, and mocking. Though it may not leave physical scars, it can deeply affect a person’s self-esteem and mental health.

Social or Relational Bullying

This form targets someone’s relationships and reputation. It includes exclusion, spreading rumors, public humiliation, and encouraging others to ostracize the victim. It’s often covert and can be especially damaging in tight-knit peer groups.

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying happens through digital platforms—social media, messaging apps, gaming chats, and more. It includes sending threatening messages, sharing harmful content, impersonating someone online, or publicly shaming them. Because it’s persistent and far-reaching, it can feel inescapable.

Sexual Bullying

This includes unwelcome sexual comments, gestures, jokes, or physical contact. It can also involve sharing explicit images or rumors. Sexual bullying often overlaps with harassment and can have serious legal and psychological consequences.

Prejudicial Bullying

Prejudicial bullying targets someone based on race, religion, gender identity, sexual orientation, disability, or cultural background. It reinforces systemic discrimination and can escalate into hate-based violence.

Each type of bullying may occur in isolation or in combination, and bullies often use multiple tactics to exert control. Recognizing these forms helps us intervene earlier and more effectively.

What Bullying Does to the Brain

Bullying is a form of toxic stress, and its effects on the developing brain are profound. When a child is repeatedly targeted, their nervous system adapts to a state of hypervigilance. Cortisol levels spike and remain elevated, impairing sleep, digestion, and emotional regulation. Over time, structural changes can occur in the hippocampus, which governs memory, and the amygdala, which processes fear and threat. These changes may manifest as anxiety, depression, impulsivity, and difficulty interpreting social cues. The consequences often extend into adulthood, increasing vulnerability to chronic illness, substance use, and suicidality.

Emerging research also shows that bullying can disrupt the default mode network—a system in the brain responsible for self-reflection and social understanding. This disruption can lead to distorted self-image, difficulty trusting others, and a heightened sense of shame. For neurodiverse children, bullying compounds existing challenges, often leading to masking behaviors and emotional shutdown.

Bullying isn’t just a behavioral issue—it’s a public health concern. And healing requires more than discipline—it requires connection.

Recognizing Bullying

Bullying is defined by repetition, intent to harm, and a power imbalance. It can be physical, verbal, relational, or digital. Children who are being bullied may withdraw from social activities, avoid school, experience sudden mood shifts, or show signs of self-harm. They may lose belongings, struggle academically, or express hopelessness. On the other hand, children who bully others may exhibit frequent aggression, blame others for their actions, or show an obsession with popularity and control.

Not all children speak up. Shame, fear of retaliation, and social isolation often keep them silent. That’s why adults must remain attuned to subtle shifts in behavior and mood. Trauma-informed listening means noticing what’s not being said—and creating space for it to be spoken.

What Kids, Parents, and Bystanders Can Do

Children need to know they’re not alone. If they’re being bullied, they should be encouraged to speak with a trusted adult—whether a parent, teacher, counselor, or coach. Peers can play a powerful role by walking with someone who’s being targeted, sitting with them at lunch, or simply offering a kind word. These small acts of solidarity can disrupt the cycle of isolation and shame.

Parents can initiate open-ended conversations that invite honesty and reflection. Questions like “Who do you sit with at lunch?” or “Have you noticed anyone being left out?” can reveal more than direct inquiries. Monitoring social media, staying engaged with school life, and partnering with educators are essential steps. Trauma-informed policies, peer support programs, and restorative practices can transform school culture.

Educators and community leaders must model empathy and accountability. By teaching bystander intervention, celebrating neurodiversity, and creating inclusive environments, they can foster belonging—a key protective factor against bullying. Every adult has the power to interrupt cruelty and cultivate care.

For bystanders, silence is complicity. Teaching kids how to safely intervene—whether by redirecting the situation, gathering allies, or reporting the behavior—can shift the social dynamic. Schools can reinforce this through role-play scenarios, peer-led workshops, and visual campaigns that normalize speaking up.

Healing Is Possible

Bullying leaves scars, but it doesn’t have to define a child’s story. With early intervention, relational repair, and community support, young people can reclaim their sense of safety and worth. Healing is possible when we listen deeply, respond compassionately, and commit to systemic change.

Ritual-based healing can be a powerful tool for families and communities. Lighting a candle for someone who’s been harmed, writing affirmations together, or creating a “circle of safety” at home can help children externalize their pain and re-anchor in connection. Schools can host empathy circles, art-based reflection spaces, or “kindness walls” where students anonymously share encouragement.

If you or someone you know is affected by bullying, these resources offer support and guidance:

This October, let’s move beyond awareness. Let’s build ecosystems of care—where every child knows they matter, and every adult knows how to show up.

Moving Forward

Bullying Prevention Month reminds us that safety isn’t a luxury—it’s a right. From the neurological toll to the emotional aftermath, bullying reshapes how children relate to themselves and the world. But with awareness, empathy, and collective action, we can rewrite that narrative. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, peer, or advocate, your voice matters. Your presence matters. Let this month be more than symbolic—let it be a turning point. Start the conversation. Interrupt the harm. Build the bridge. Because every child deserves to grow up in a world where belonging is non-negotiable, and kindness is the norm.

Join the movement. Share resources. Host a dialogue. Light a candle. Wear orange. And most importantly—show up. Because prevention begins with us. Please let us know at Integrate Therapy and Wellness Collective how we can help walk with you on your journey to wholeness.

Ambur Gregorio
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